Britt Nicole Helped me Find my Faith

One year ago today, January 19, 2017,  I had the opportunity to meet a person I owe so much of my continued growth and recovery to — Britt Nicole.

I discovered Britt Nicole’s music in the depths of my eating disorder struggles. I was 15 years old and maybe a week into my first week of therapy at the first treatment center I had ever gone to, when I found a song of hers that changed my life.

In my group at treatment, the therapist leading the group encouraged us to spend the upcoming weekend finding recovery inspiration online.

Through my searches of inspirational recovery quotes on Pinterest, recovery-based blogs and resources to combat eating disorder urges, I ended up finding encouraging music on YouTube.


I have no musical ability (never have and never will!) but at that time, I found comfort in music. I loved listening to songs that I related to. It helped me feel less alone. I felt such a deep connection to hearing an artist express themselves, even in experiences I couldn’t fully relate to. I think that’s the beauty of music, art and writing, though — you put your story out there and people take what they need.

At that time, I truly began finding strength and hope in listening to relatable and empowering music.

Hearing people use their voice to share their story ultimately inspired me to use my voice to share my story.

I saw myself as “the voiceless” for so many years — I literally did not speak much and I kept so much to myself, including my pain. So, having this outlet where I connected to music on my own was truly lifesaving.

Another element of this story is that I had gone to church as a child, but stopped going as I got older. I never really had a strong spiritual connection growing up. At 15 though, when I began listening to music other than what was on the radio, I discovered Christian music. With that discovery, I also felt solace in praying and believing in life further than what I could see.

Other artists I loved and discovered at that time were Superchick, Fireflight, Meredith Andrews, Tricia Brock and Tenth Avenue North, to name a few.


Going back to Britt Nicole, I found her song When She Cries on YouTube that day.

The first listen of When She Cries, I cried. I balled. I felt every single lyric so deeply. But in the last few lines of the song, the sheer pain and sadness I felt would come down. By the last line, I felt like I could breathe again. And ultimately, I felt loved, comforted, and like I was never alone.

I listened to the song over and over that day, and went through that same emotional reaction every listen. To this day, I still experience the song as “feeling all the feels”, and as it ends, I feel relief, comfort and peace.

The first and second chorus of When She Cries go:

“Every day’s the same

She fights to find her way

She hurts, she breaks, she hides, and tries to pray

She wonders why, does anyone ever hear her when she cries?”
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What calms these questions I always asked myself back in my days of concealing my pain from everyone, is the progression from that initial chorus to this bridge and final chorus:
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
“This is the dark before the dawn
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The storm before the peace
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Don’t be afraid ’cause seasons change and
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God is watching over you
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He hears you⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Every day’s the same
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
She fights to find her way
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She hurts, she breaks, she hides, and tries to pray
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She’ll be just fine, ’cause I know He hears her when she cries
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She’ll be just fine, ’cause I know He hears her when she cries”
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I knew the moment I heard those words, then and now, that He hears me.
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He hears me.
 ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
He sees me.
 ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
He loves me.
 ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
He is watching over me.
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I hear those final lyrics and the sadness melts away.
 ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I still choose to do therapy, of course, because I have mental illness and sometimes we need help and support, and that’s ok; it is ok to ask for help.
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For me, having faith and realizing that God was on my side, with music being the catalyst for me to find both, were things I didn’t know I had. It was once an outlet and source of support I didn’t know even existed.
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When I first found music like this, I quickly learned that all these struggles I faced, I no longer had to face alone. I still find so much hope and inspiration through music.
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Even at 15, I had already experienced loss, abuse and rejection. I had struggled with self harm and bulimia. I felt so alone.
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And through a simple activity I was encouraged to do in treatment, I found Britt Nicole. I found healing. I found hope. And I found God.
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On this day last year, I had this incredible opportunity to meet Britt Nicole for 20 minutes right before her performance. Britt and her team helped me feel like I belonged there. I met Britt with her manager and a new friend I met that day — Sadie, who is incredible, kind, supportive, and has overcome similar struggles. Britt hugged me a few times, genuinely wanted to hear my story, listened to every word, and prayed over me.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I got to tell Britt that I found When She Cries as a teenager and that now, at 22 years old, I also relate my life to a song on her latest album — Better. I told her how much I loved the progression in the songs — from all that pain and hiding transformed a hopeful message of, “it’s gonna get better”.
 ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I’m forever grateful for the opportunity I had to meet and talk to Britt Nicole one-on-one. I’m even more grateful that Britt was a part of my journey — recovery and faith wise.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Thank you, Britt, for inspiring me and encouraging me. Thank you for leading me to hope.

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