Lexie Manion

my journey of choosing recovery, finding balance and creating a life worth living

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Lexie Manion

As Seen In

Read this My Central Jersey piece here.

Read this Yahoo piece here.

Read this Cosmopolitan piece here.

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Imagine if we treated mental illness recovery as we treat any type of physical illness recovery. They’re different of course, but both deserve lots of love, recognition and celebration as the person gets better. To preface this, it’s more of an observation than a complaint: I didn’t receive much “congrats” or “I love you” or praise upon discharging precious treatment centers for mental health treatment. My first hospitalization ever I received cards and flowers. After the tenth round of treatment, it was viewed more as something routine that didn’t quite call for a “I’m proud of you”. I think this happens for many reasons, including stigma and lack of education around mental illness. I think when appropriate, it’s so wonderful to celebrate the patient who is discharging treatment or just completing a treatment program. They just did so much hard work of stabilization and self growth. It likely wasn’t pretty and it likely hurt like hell time to time. But they did it. I wish mental health was viewed the same as physical health in instances like this. It’s a huge accomplishment to fight on and recover. Until the day it’s viewed the same, I’ll be choosing to celebrate my friends when they leave treatment, showering them in love and making art that shows just how important their recovery is to me.
I was doing therapy homework and came across a passage about mindfulness I thought was pretty cool. Some researchers on the matter have discovered that the “gut feeling” we experience has substantial evidence supporting its existence. There is a web of nerves in the stomach that is second in complexity only to the human brain, which they coined the “enteric brain”, meaning the brain in the stomach. This is pretty fascinating because when accessing wise mind, you stop and piece together both rational and emotion mind. We want to come to wise mind decisions because acting from either extreme can result in disappointment or results that we don’t feel good about. Acting from a wise mind place, we can make decisions we feel good about and can ultimately be proud of. Using wise mind, an act similar to intuition, is so important to our view of self, relationships with others, and self confidence. Given the enteric brain research, this essentially means wise mind can also be accessed in our stomachs just from our initial gut reactions! Crazy right?! Do you practice mindfulness or try to come to wise mind decisions? Practicing DBT and doing mindfulness meditations have helped me feel more grounded in my every day life.
The other day I was reading about doctors in the UK and Canada prescribing museum visits, in which the doctor would write a note so the patient could spend a day at the museum. Another thing I saw being prescribed is time in nature. The museum visits and time in nature are prescribed from patients with heart disease or stress to those with mental illness. There is strong evidence that suggests nature benefits one’s mental and physical health. I think it’s pretty cool this is happening. As simple as these things may sound, they can have a lasting impact. And when you’re hurting in one way or another, you may get stuck in a routine or forget about simple things like stopping to enjoy the world around you. It’s also a great practice in mindfulness. If you could prescribe something like a museum visit or time in nature, what would you prescribe?
“I thought that I could just forget The bricks that have built me But this world is a whirlwind and I'm holding that trapeze And I'll never tell you who I loved ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ But if I could tell you one thing I would tell you I'm not leaving If I could show you one thing All my mistakes have shaped me Into who I am And who I am just wants to make you home” lyrics, Trapeze by Dia Frampton
I love the words, “Losing weight is not my life’s purpose”. It rings true for me; I’m so much more than what I look like and what my gravitational pull is on this earth. However, as I’ve lost weight this past year through natural means, without dieting, and by eating intuitively and exercising for the endorphins and for fun, I’m reminded that some people may assume I’ve abandoned my ideas on body acceptance. I’d love to make it known today that there can be a balance between promoting body acceptance and losing weight; they don’t have to be mutually exclusive. I think health is very personal and needs to be seen through an individualized lens. Some definitions of “health” are a social construct, as access to doctors and treatment is a privilege. Not to mention, “health” is such a broad term, and something that can’t be distinguished just by looking at one’s body. Health is mind, body and soul. When I talk about weight loss I’m talking about not really caring about the number. My main concern is that I keep on the right path of balance. I also keep the words “traitor to society, not myself” in mind, because my journey is rooted in knowing that fat isn’t the enemy. Taking a non-judgmental stance at health and my body’s abilities has kept me on a path where I’m happy to be feeling better, and I don’t think about “looking better” at all because I was just as beautiful and worthy at my highest weight. This journey is about balance and self love, not rigidity or self destructive behaviors. Losing weight has been a minor part of my journey. Finding myself, as well as movement I enjoy doing and food I enjoy eating has been the reward. I hope if you ever end up on a similar journey to mine, you betray society’s ideals like quick fixes and pushing yourself to the limit, not yourself.
I hope if you struggle with body image and feel self conscious, you wear that dress you adore anyway. I hope if you struggle with an eating disorder, you enjoy the cake anyway. I hope if you struggle with depression, you get out of the house and spend time with people you love anyway. I hope if you struggle with anxiety, you dance the night away anyway. I hope if you struggle with PTSD, you live bravely anyway. I hope if you feel not good enough, you stand tall anyway. I’ve let mental health struggles steal too much of my life away. Though intimidating and sometimes uncomfortable, the “do it anyway’s” have guided me to days I can’t help but smile ear to ear because I’m having so much fun just being alive again. Fight back for those moments of pure bliss where you can celebrate life with others and yourself freely. It doesn’t have to be every moment, but I hope you fight for some moments. Live your life anyway. You’re worth it.
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